


like a wildfire burning all

by Anonymous



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Prostitution, Pining, Pining while fucking, Unhealthy Relationships, endgame open for interpretation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 10:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Reki and Langa have sex for the first time, but the memory of Adam is difficult to rewrite.A continuation ofcrash and burn (with me)inspired by the line:"He hasn't even fucked you yet? But now...you'll be thinking of me whenever he gets the guts to, won't you?"
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki, Hasegawa Langa/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Comments: 16
Kudos: 104
Collections: Anonymous, Sk8 Infinity - Kink Meme





	like a wildfire burning all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverinerivers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/gifts).
  * Inspired by [crash and burn (with me)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29843865) by [silverinerivers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/pseuds/silverinerivers). 



> Please read crash and burn (with me) first, or this will probably make no sense.
> 
> Also please mind the tags and don't proceed if you're not comfortable with anything there.
> 
> To Lulu: it took some time to get around to editing, but here it is~ maybe one day I'll be brave enough to write smut un-anon and without the veil of poetic musings

“So I uhh...did some research. Are you sure you want me to be the one to...” Reki trails off and sheepishly rubs the bad of his neck. His face blushes tomato red. 

“Yes,” Langa says with a surprising amount of weight in his delicate tone. “I don’t really have preferences, but for our first time, I want you to do it.”

Reki nods. 

Taking the lead, Langa sits down on the edge of the bed and starts undoing his button-up as a sign that this is alright. Bright citrine eyes bore into him as he tugs it off in one fluid motion. 

When Reki approaches, he expects to be kissed. He expects to be caressed. Instead, Reki drops and hunches down to hide his face against one of Langa’s knees. 

“Don’t,” he mumbles and Langa’s heart goes stone cold. “Don’t do this if you don’t mean it.” 

“Why would you think that?”

“It’s not-” Reki cuts himself off with a frustrated huff and one of his hands grip Langa’s inner thigh. “I’m not used to having feelings for someone, much less being with them. But you...my head’s all messed up even thinking about you.”

Guilt stabs through Langa because ultimately, it’s his fault. He was the one who made the decision that accelerated the fire they both tried to deny. “How can I help?”

“Before we start, tell me that we’re okay. Please, tell me.”

 _Tell_ , not _promise_.

“We’re okay.”

They begin with the familiar ritual of tracing each other’s scars. They know the tales behind each one and they’re not all from sports. Reki has one on his left thumb from messing around with firecrackers and Langa has one in the same place from a kitchen accident caused by absentmindedness. 

Skateboarding as much as they do means constant scrapes and bruises. They lay butterfly kisses against the indigo splashes on each other’s skin, but Langa knows that this is not enough to mend the perpetual fractures between them.

He expects it to be a touch clumsy. Neither of them really know what they’re doing yet, but he stands by what he said when he told Reki that it was very good with Adam, but it’ll be even better with him.

It hurts a little at first, but Langa bears with it because Reki is trying. They’re both trying so damn hard. 

It didn’t hurt with Adam. He expected it to, considering the man’s affinity for sadism. After all, what’s a bit of pain compared to all the times he bailed while learning tricks? A bit of physical discomfort would’ve been well worth it. The payment from that night was for the sake of his mother. It was to lessen her burden. 

Even if the pain got bad, he would’ve grit his teeth through it to deprive Adam of the satisfaction. 

Instead, it was torture in a more profound way. 

The line between agony and ecstasy is thinner than spider thread and he discovered that when he was already helplessly ensnared.

Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, and by gods, did Adam lavish him with all the gold in the world. 

“Reki, Reki,” he calls the name instinctively like it’s a tether keeping him from wandering adrift. “I need you.”

“Fuck,” Reki groans huskily. His pupils are blown wide in twin pools of ambrosia. 

In a moment of clarity, Langa gets an idea. “I need you,” he repeats, trying to sound airly desperate the way he imagines Reki would like. 

“Oh god, say that again.” 

The response is even better than he hoped. Reki looks like he’s being driven out of his mind from just a little encouragement. Growing a little more daring, Langa threads his fingers into Reki’s hair to gently pull him down. He gives a bit of sweet anticipation by nibbling Reki’s ear first. He takes a sharp breath and Reki shudders. “I need you.”

Reki’s composure doesn’t merely crack. It unravels completely. “Say it again. Please, let me hear you say it again,” he all but babbles. 

At first, Langa thought it was a fun discovery. It’s a little sign that he’s at least doing something right, but there’s a desperation in Reki’s voice that borders on torment. It’s not that Reki enjoys hearing that he’s needed, but rather, it’s an absolute necessity. 

How did Langa not realize this sooner? 

“I need you,” he obliges. “I’ll say it for you as many times as you like. I need you. I’ll always need you.”

Reki makes a delirious sound and he’s shuddering so much that he could fall on top of Langa at any moment. 

It gives Langa a wicked idea. He rolls his hips and moans. “Mark me up. Show me that you got me. I want everyone to see that I belong to nobody but you. That I need nobody but you.”

“Langa, I-” Reki chokes out.

“Don’t hold back.” 

_Don’t hold back._

That’s what he wordlessly challenged Adam even when he realized just how entirely out of his depths he was. Langa may be a snow leopard when he’s on the racing course. Dizzying speeds, gut-wrenching twists, and shaking off the paralysis of fear - all that, he could handle because it’s familiar. 

But when it came to sex...the moment he was underneath Adam with both wrists gripped by an unrelenting hand, he was a small rabbit caught in the jaws of a horrific predator.

Yet, he stared straight into the jaws of the abyss and all the terrifying new sensations it held. 

Don’t hold back. 

Maybe that was his mistake. He should have known that Adam expected, even welcomed, defiance in this aspect as well - like a true predator that only enjoys the hunt when his prey fights back. 

“How much can you take?”

At one point, somewhere between the throes of passion, he tried to bite Adam. Or rather, he did bite Adam. He sunk his teeth into the hand that tried to caress his face in a grim reenactment of a tender lover’s touch. It wasn’t hard enough to draw blood, but he immediately let go when his rationality caught up. 

It only seemed to amuse Adam further, as if he could read Langa’s mind. As if he was in it. 

“Oh, my darling Snow. That’s quite alright. After all, it’s only natural for a beautiful rose to have such vicious thorns.”

Langa knows that danger is a volatile lover and their relationship isn’t limited to races anymore.

A sharp sting on his collarbone jolts him out of the reverie. 

“Sorry, was that too much?” Reki’s lust-darkened eyes are wide. He looks surprised to see the expanse of marks he painted across Langa’s skin without a second thought. 

“No, it’s fine. It’s perfect,” Langa hurries to assure. He doesn’t want Reki to fall into an uncertain headspace again. “You’re perfect.”

Reki blushes and stammers adorably. “So...should I...uhh...do it now?”

It might be a little soon, but he doesn’t exactly have enough experience to tell. “Yea, do it now.”

“Here, take my hand.” Reki grabs Langa’s hand, tightly interlocking their fingers. 

Langa turns his head to look. Somehow, it’s a sight so intimate that his heart nearly bursts. His skin is porcelain fair against Reki’s sunkissed golden. His fingers are longer and slimmer. Their hands look good together. A matching pair. 

He wants to cry because it’s not just the hands, but them. They suit each other. In all the ways that Langa is hardened, Reki is still as soft as dandelion seeds. 

Relationships are never fully ideal. Langa’s parents were an incredibly happy couple, but they never deluded him with the idea that love is perfect. He and Reki aren’t perfect, but they’re a _good_ match. 

More importantly, they’re _good_ for each other.

Adam is both a selfless and selfish partner. 

He gives with such uninhibited intensity that his focus is uncanny. Not a single detail escapes his wildfire eyes. However, he’s a selfish giver because it’s all on his terms.

Despite his title as the Matador of Love, what they did that night could hardly be called making love. 

No, what Adam doled out was domination. His goal wasn’t simply to make Langa feel good, but rather leave him completely devastated and barely able to breathe. By the end of it, Langa had gone deaf to his own cries. He couldn’t even tell which way was up. 

It’s an irrevocable truth of Adam’s personality that he enjoys breaking people. 

Once, Langa asked a fellow skater at S what that meant. ‘Good luck if you catch his eye. He will pick you apart to see which exact buttons to push. Talking with him will feel like a dance in a minefield. Even when you don’t think he’s paying attention, he’s watching you to pinpoint your deepest insecurities.’

So Langa wasn’t surprised that it took Adam no time at all to find out about his family’s financial stress. He wasn’t surprised it was used as leverage. 

He could’ve thrown the offer right back at Adam’s face. He could have kept some semblance of pride, but realistically, pride is awfully cheap compared to the dark circles under his mother’s eyes and each laugh she forces to disguise her unease. 

Reki understood and gave him the go-ahead because it was transactional. It wasn’t a big deal, or so he thought. 

And Langa went through with it because it was just sex. It was just a physical charade, or so he thought.

It took some fumbling, but Reki’s a fast learner. It’s no different than how he picked up skateboarding tricks much quicker than average. He’s no genius, but he’s a natural. Plus, being in a confident mood does wonders for his performance. 

“How do you feel?” Reki asks through heavy breaths. 

Langa said that it was very good with Adam, but it will be even better with Reki. He just expected it to take some practice to get there, because that’s just what experience is supposed to be like, right? Instead, he’s already drunk off the unfiltered honesty. 

“Dirty. Like I’m dirty and if I touch you, you’d get dirty too,” he confides because he thought that it was just sex, but now, he’s scared he’ll regret for the rest of his life that this isn’t his first. 

But this could be his first if he assigns it meaning, right? Because sex itself isn’t inherently meaningful or meaningless, it’s the feelings that give it significance, so if Adam was a mistake, he can just wipe it off his record. That would be convenient, wouldn’t it? Because Adam is such an epitome of easy to compartmentalize, yielding, and convenient. 

“Hey, look at me,” Reki says gently as he moves aside the arm that Langa had covered his face with. 

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Maybe I’m just confused, but it’s not your fault. I’m sorry,” Langa rambles. 

“Stop apologizing.” Reki’s eyes hold so much kindness despite the turmoil he must feel inside. “It’s okay if you feel dirty. I’ll burn you clean.”

Oh. Okay. When it’s put that way...

Just as much as Adam, Reki is fire. Except his fire is nurturing instead of destructive. Compassionate instead of uncontrollable. It seeks to warm the people around it instead of growing to devour everything in its path. 

The craving to burn drew Langa to Adam, but he was hypnotized by the flickers. He got too close and the embers blinded him. 

“Then, burn me. Burn me clean.”

“Alright,” Reki promises. “Besides, we’re far from done.”

With that, Langa allows himself to properly breathe. It’s clear now that at some point, he'll have to choose. Back away from the abyss before he won't be able to return. Choose sun rays instead of gasoline, camellia flowers instead of roses with thorns that cut into his hands. 

He loves Reki.

(but an undeniable truth of Langa’s personality is that he doesn’t always love what is good for him)


End file.
